


Let Go

by thehedgewitches



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehedgewitches/pseuds/thehedgewitches
Summary: A prompt I did on tumblr a while ago. The night Julia calls Marina for help.Link to the tumblr post:https://thehedgewitches.tumblr.com/post/155788997747/let-go-marina-and-julia





	

Marina looked at Julia searchingly, her eyes wide. Her mind was racing, trying to find any clues to this story. She didn’t understand. She was holding a bloody and crumpled Julia and she didn’t understand. Blood and bodies and trickster gods, and how did Julia get so broken? 

When Julia had called, Marina could barely make out what she was saying. She was frantically spewing out words between gasping breaths.  “Julia. Julia where are you?” Marina had asked desperately. 

“My apartment.” And that was all Marina had needed. She was out the door almost immediately. 

And now here she was, kneeling in a pool of blood, listening to Julia’s request to have her memory removed. And talking about what it would cost her, of all things. 

“Jesus, Julia. I want to help.” Marina didn’t know how to talk to her. She was clearly in shock and didn’t seem to be hearing what Marina was saying.

“Kady. Where’s Kady?” Julia looked up at her as if she should know the answer. Marina didn’t even know Kady had been involved. Julia’s eyes were welling with water and Marina could tell she was a moment from losing it. Julia quickly looked back at the ground.

“Hey,” Marina said gently, squaring her body so they were facing each other, “I’ve got you.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind Julia’s ear and trailed her jawline, scooping under her chin to lift it up. “I’m here, and I’ve got you.” Marina was speaking just above a whisper. “I need to know what happened, okay? I need to see it.” Julia stared blankly back at Marina. “Do you understand? I need you to let me in, okay? I just want to help.” Julia gave a slight nod and Marina closed her eyes to concentrate. Julia’s mind had an immense presence, that wasn’t new, but there was an underlying energy there she had never felt before. And everything was locked tight.

Marina opened her eyes. She was still holding Julia’s face in her hands. “I won’t make you see it again, I promise.” She could work her way through Julia’s memories without making her re-live them. “Julia,” Marina said softly, “let go.”

Marina closed her eyes again and began to work. She started at the current moment and went backwards. Julia was motionless in her hands. It was kind of like watching a horror movie, except you couldn’t remind yourself that it wasn’t real, and you couldn’t detach your feelings because you needed to be wholly immersed to keep the connection going. Marina saw Kady, frightened and yet still defiant, pleading with Julia to run. She felt Julia’s refusal, felt her peace at the idea that giving Kady the even smallest chance of getting out of here was worth her life. Marina had never felt so proud. Kady and Julia, both fiercely intelligent, and so, so brave. She had always been harsh with them, she knew that, but she loved them, and probably no one would ever understand that.

When she had been through all the memories she needed, she helped Julia up off the floor. “I’ll clean up now, I’ll clean up and then I’m going to– “ Julia started saying.

“Julia, stop. Please. I’ve got this, just let me.” It was like Julia wasn’t even there anymore. Marina herded her to the shower, turned it on and tugged at Julia’s sweater. It was enough for Julia’s muscle memory to take over and she undressed and showered. Marina found a towel and picked out clothes for her and waited. She handed Julia the towel when she was finished, handed her each item of clothing, she towel dried her hair. Neither of them spoke. Marina herded her to her bedroom and then left to grab the blow-dryer. When she came back Julia was sitting on the floor against the bed, so she sat on the bed behind her. Julia leaned in against her legs while Marina methodically dried her hair. When she was done, she rolled back the covers of the bed and scooped her up. Julia wasn’t making eye contact but she held firmly to Marina’s hand, so Marina kicked off her shoes and crawled onto the bed. She propped herself up on some pillows, leaned against the headboard, and pulled Julia in after her. Still without looking up, Julia tucked herself in beside her, laying her head on Marina’s stomach and hugging her body.

Marina took a deep breath and stroked the long brown locks of hair in front of her. “I’m gonna clean everything up.” She started separating Julia’s memories. She couldn’t take them like Brakebills could, but she could tweak them and wrap them up so that Julia wouldn’t know the difference. It was easier than she’d thought, Julia’s mind was doing most of the work. Rejecting the memories on its own instead of clinging to them like most would. She gathered the worst ones first and felt Julia relax as she tucked them away into an inaccessible corner of her mind. 

Marina paused her work. She needed to wait till Julia fell asleep to finish altering her memories. She would clean up the bodies and the mess and remove any trace that she’d been here, and then she’d go find Kady. Marina absentmindedly ran her fingers through Julia’s hair and was surprised to feel Julia nestle in a little tighter. Marina smiled and continued playing with her hair, sometimes combing it out with her fingers, sometimes twisting it, sometimes lightly massaging her head. For over an hour they lay like this, until Julia’s breath finally slowed and at last she succumbed to sleep.


End file.
